Life is like a rollercoaster was a lyric of a famous song and I’m sure you agree it has its up and downs and it’s spins and turns. We can enjoy the ride of a roller coaster that if it’s your scene safely. Two reasons why we can be safe on these crazy rides , planing before of the ride with all the necessary precautions in place. Second and more important safety aspect we follow the instructions and buckle up and don’t jump out during the ride. The same principles are in our life. Managing emotions with intelligence is planning or thinking ahead of those up and down situations. The biggest problem people with lack of emotional intelligence have is the enemy cortisol or stress will destroy all intelligence choices and actions.When we face stresses prepare for that event or when it happens suddenly have a strategy in plan. The second similarity is to buckle up when those spins and turns in life happen and don’t jump. That does not mean to suppress or ignore our emotions but accept them and manage them effectively don’t jump or running away from your feelings because that will damage your mental health long term.
Stop the emotional clock is a simple way to remember that to have emotional intelligence we need to stop or regulate our emotions when appropriate. How do you feel when the tide of discomfort is pulling you away from a peaceful state. It is easy to react to any situation with our vast array of internal emotions. One way an individual deals with uncomfortable emotions is they project all their emotions on to others. The rage or sarcasm , the negative comments, judgements etc has an emotion behind it. When we have intense emotions stop the clock and ask yourself why am I telling this is Acronyms W.A.I.T. This explains a lot about individuals who are not emotional intelligent by what they say , when they say and how they say it. Another common delusion of the emotional illiterate are these common sayings “I know how you feel?” “You shouldn’t feel that way” “l know just the answer for you”. Stop the emotional clock with important decisions because a amazing idea today could be a depressing situation tomorrow. Understanding our emotions and regulating them is like driving a vehicle of responsibility to be aware of how we navigate the ever changing directions in life. Sometimes we have to stop the clock of our internal emotions so we don’t crash.
Flexibility and adaptable are essential for positive mental and physical health. Our survival is impacted by developing skills by being able to adjust to environment around us. It is obvious that a baby needs to eventually be independent as an adult one day by looking after itself learning many skills.The Problem sometimes is our behaviours and life patterns can become so ridged that it will restrict opportunities when the environment changes. A simple example :you always get out of bed at a designated time but because your new job timetable conflicts with that schedule it causes problems. Being around individuals who always want to be right , never flexible and can’t handle change are difficult to be with. Question to ask ourselves with regards our emotional intelligence:why am I so stressed at times? Maybe because of the physiological biology in your brain or the behaviour programme learned since childhood forces you act in the same way for many years. Being flexible and adaptable with your self will enhance the journey of living
Emotional intelligence cognitive reframing or reappraisal is an option to to regulate emotions and feelings and concepts. When we face challenges rather than react a particular way or our familiar response change your perception of the event. For example my boss wants me to do overtime again. We might think he is always asking me what about so and so why can’t they do it instead. We could reframe the question in our mind with a different emotional response. wow the boss must be happy with my work and ethics. He can rely on me because he knows I can get the job done correctly. By assessing every difficult situation with another spin or appraisal we make our emotional intelligence work in our favour
Social awareness is important asset in today’s world because of the tremendous diversity of populations living together. The world scene has changed with mass migration, economic differences and lots of other reasons. Developing emotional intelligence embrace diversity and try to understand the person culture , education, economic , etc as much as possible with no personal judgements. Often our own bias beliefs and prejudices can filter out from our internal references if there is no social awareness. For example we my have been taught in our culture or family that sacrifice for the nation is more important than personal safety. You may think that is crazy or even mad but understanding how a person feels about something will give you insight. On this very point some nations around the globe have a legacy of the community always comes first then individual second. Other spectrum some cultures put emphasis on the family as the main thrust for thier identity. There is so many ways to live on this planet with nearly 8 billion hearts which we all have.The secret to emotional intelligence with social awareness ,pretend to live in thier world and enjoy the differences they delight in because that will enrich your life experiences and you find it easier to have empathy for everyone.