Category Archives: Personal Development

The virtue of Respect supporting Personal Boundaries

“Respect your life and others will have a choice to respect themselves,” Steve Hyne

Respecting a person’s privacy, respecting a person’s dwellings and respecting a person’s identity are an emotive subjects. Respect in different cultures can mean a completely new perspective from one’s own narrative. I will not focus this topic on systems of ideology or dogmatism, but from a subjective point of view as an insight in my own life, but a thesis of contemplation in the modern world.

Reason I came to this arena of philosophy is because of my quest to improve my awareness of how I perceive my mind interpretation of my present life with the goal of improvement in practical living. It is easy to continue the same old life with little thought or contemplation.

Chinese philosophy has inspired me on virtues from Confucian teachings. At this conjuncture from a political orthodoxy, present governance would benefit from reading the lessons. One quote from the inspiring civil servant Confucius said: If you look after the people, the people will look after you.

Baruch Spinoza’s ethics of virtues is another source of relating to the world and one’s interpretation as a function of being. Recently reading again Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography life pattern as he implemented the system of virtues.

Virtue is the bull work of who you are and how you relate to yourself and the greater world. I have realised that gurus, eminent philosophers and other mediums don’t understand your personal world but only give a fraction of insight because of their subjective insight. The best life anyone can live is from the internal navigation of personal virtues, Carl Jung said, to have their own personal myth. Here is an illustration show how the individual mind is always subjective.

The sail boat needs the natural elements and winds to navigate the waters from A to B, ones intended destination. According to one resource optimun sailing (skippertips.com),

Use shoal-thermals to gain distance

Calculate sea-breeze strength

Expect gusty onshore winds near steep headlands

Watch out for gusty offshore winds

Take advantage of cat’s-paws

Who has the responsibility to take control of the boat, especially if only you are on it? The natural winds are not aimed towards our preferences, occasionally we have the luck on our side. The sailor has to decide moment by moment to use the slip stream to maximise the flow. Our subjective influence is imperative to arrive safely at one’s destination not just in sailing but also in riding the ocean of life.

Respect origin from Latin word that conveys the idea act of looking back. The verb conveys the idea regarding notice with especial attention. The Hebrew word respect coveys the idea of Honor while the Classical Greek word conveys the idea of reverence to the gods. From Greek mythology, Eusebia was the personified spirit of piety, loyalty, duty and filial respect. The word associated in the bible rending godliness or devotion to God’s commands. For Platonists, eusebeia means the right conduct regarding the gods. For the Stoics, the idea of empirical knowledge of how God should be worshiped from subjective perception.

The reason I wanted to explain roots of respect according to etymology of the word is a substrate of western thought throughout Europe and the Americas.

I was raised as a fundamental christian and have a Jewish father. The religious connotation of respect is always a reference to external factors. I have experienced conventions of respect from a punitive stimulus, not a personal responsibility of virtuous conduct in the absolute.

I am respectful of other religions but not affiliated with any, as I perceive the responsibility of ethical responsibilities is ornate and subjective, similar to the idea of Stoic philosopher.

Eastern culture, from my research and personal experience, treats you as a god out of respect according to their thousand of years hierarchy systems both in India, Japan and China. Combination of fear and family system reinforced the platitude of respect in eastern and western thought.

Elevated consciousness has led to a proliferation of concepts, as humanity endeavours to reach new heights of understanding. Innovation, engineering, technologies changed the world’s landscape in the name of progress.

Open floor of new thought over the last two thousand years seen the rise and fall of dictators, regimes, slavery causing impeachment for the soul.

Respect your life and others will have a choice to respect themselves. Freedom of thought is the benchmark of maturity. Question I endeavour to ponder on is: Where does this idea, feeling and thought come from and is it important to me?

Respecting life as a personal gift is a fundamental blessing for me. Recognising the challenges I have encountered due to not having respect for myself, as my boundaries were not in place. Easy to blame others as there will be no internal search of responsibility. Religion and politics use scapegoats to escape the personal responsibility to respect.

Taking control of one’s thoughts and feelings is the start of respecting one’s boundaries and others’ rights. I call this scenario the consequence chain. One idea leads to a thought, then thought ruminates on bias with the influence of emotions.

One of my tricksters was after a hard day, either stress or physical exhaustion, often both. I need a glass of wine, then add a bar of chocolate then waste several hours watching numbing tv drama. This is not wrong, but the initial thought was I need this became a chain of events wasting an opportunity, something I rather do.

Organised the idea of respect in order to different category is a good place to investigate. Here are a few ideas to consider for personal growth and it will enrich your respect with greater boundaries.

1 Do I respect my body with the ingestion of food and liquids?

2 Do I respect my time as a function of personal responsibility?

3 Do I respect my resources not wasting them on trivia?

4 Do I respect my mind with insights and enlightenment?

5 Do I respect my authentic self and listen to my heart?

Implementing personal boundaries with respect elevates awareness and mental clarity. The brain has a lazy machine operating system focused on reward or aversion. Respecting the gift of choice as a wonderful opportunity to enjoy every moment will serve you as the director of your life, not as a dictator.

Enlightened alchemist magician

EXTRACT FROM FORTH COMING BOOK MENTAL WEALTH

How do you ignite the spark of initiation? Becoming an enlightened alchemist magician. The archetype of a magicianappears to create from nothing something mysterious and wonderful. Expression of miracles and feeling spellbound by seeing miracles are not always an illusion. Examples of priest, faith healers, shamans, witch doctors and others creating something from nothing.

Alchemist specialises in alchemy of transforming the impossible into the possible. They tune into their intuitive powers and follow their instincts. Intuition enemy is the ego because it uses rational, conscious human thought of acceptance in present with human terms. Example of mothers and their children have a knowing that child is not well even when not in the same vicinity. Carl Jung said about intuition, intuition gives outlook and insight; it revels in the garden of magical possibilities as if they were real. This experience is subjective. It comes from the internal person’s awareness. Common phrases are a hunch, a gut feeling, follow my heart etc. Often the intuition appears woo woo or stupid to others from their ego or rational brain it wouldn’t be the right choice.

I refer now to the description of the Enlightened alchemist magician. Enlightened archetype referred as the sage. The sage has wisdom with no bias, based on a higher dimension of knowledge or elevated consciousness. Imagine you were in a dark place and restricted in what direction to take. An old man has a bright light, instantly appears, lighting up the space. Now you have a clear vision of where you want to go. The expression of a lightbulb moment or inspiration comes like a flash.

Break this down to practical application on how to adopt this Enlightened alchemist magician to have access to initiation that leads to intentions that create nothing to find your dreams.

Enlightened person root is their attitude. Attitude attracts or repels different energies. Arrogant person believes they are always right. Their self importance will cause barriers from the internal mind that cannot grow. If the king is arrogant, the people suffer. The biggest problem we ever have in our life is our self. It is NO one responsibility BUT OUR OWN. Enlightened person looks at the bigger picture than their self. Wise old man has an open mind on the journey, understands in their search for truth no one is right or wrong. (Paradox, but enlightened person accepts this in their life even uncomfortable at times). Practical advice: look at a situation with fresh eyes of leaning and understanding and the mask of reality will reveal opportunities for mental wealth and growth.

Alchemist is a scientist in life, discovering new ways to change. Ancient times they endeavoured to find the recipe for making gold. Practical advice: If you don’t change, your world will not change. We have a choice on how to feel and on how to think. Mental wealth will only embrace your life with feelings made of gold and thinking swimming in gold. Chemistry of your internal world is a choice of purifying your soul with love or corrupting it with fear. You are the alchemist.

Magician has vision with mysterious abilities to create nothing into something or make things disappear. Transformation is a key ingredient of their life and acts. They appear to have secret knowledge. The word occult literally means hidden wisdom. The church in the dark ages persecuted the magicians, witches,etc, because they wanted total control in Europe of state and religion. Practical advice: Change life with a magical perspective of having faith in the impossible by changing ideas holding you prisoner. Secret wisdom love yourself unconditionally and the entire universe unconditionally and miracles will happen attracting mental wealth in life.mental wealth

Forgiveness a key to unlock compassion

“To Forgive all our errors is to forgive the world with compassion”

Forgiveness is from an old English word conveying ideas to “give, grant, allow a debt, an offense. Underneath the idea the sentiment or emotion to give up desire or power to punish. This is easier said than done because of our complex belief systems integrated from our personal histories of experience. Compassion and forgiveness are interlinked because of the emotional drives are linked with our awareness. I will endeavour to explain how to unleash your inner drives of wholeness with the tool of forgiveness with the everlasting love that prevails the whole universe in transition of compassion.

All credit and glory go to the super abundant wisdom of the infinite that seeks to love and release the higher self to its full potential. The full experience was due to a meditation and full awareness opening my mind to one of my allusive barriers to love myself and the world with unconditional love. We all believe we love ourselves but through my journey of discovery especially through meditation and knowledge it untangles our distorted perspective by removing limiting filters we wear and carry.

The programs and beliefs that have been inculcated since conception on this journey blots the marvellous vision of clarity available to all humanity. One of the biggest blots or strangulation and suffocating of our awareness with the concept of sin. The foundation of unconditional love I believe flows throughout the universe with ease not with presupposition of action. When we Examine nature, it flows with simplicity and cohesion of their symbiotic relationships that are not based on religious dogma or political agendas. The eons of religious and political systems rise and fall but nature continues its unending cycle of life without thought.

During my meditation the bright light of forgiveness came into my awareness. The stigmas we carry from childhood of other people’s projections and expectations are lurking in the shadow of reality. The realisation that I was carrying buckets of underlying projections against my soul was revealed by the higher self.

From a child’s perspective its limited knowledge and human experience the child reflects the environment on to itself. For example, as I have mentioned before, my father left my mother when I was 8 years old. I carried that projection of rejection with me as a child expectation of unconditional love from a parent. Sadly, the pain and hurt of failed relationships can cause decades of unresolved trauma. The child can blame itself for the problems it encounters while young due to ignorance and carry’s it as shame, guilt, and sorrow.

The example of sin is so ingrained in western cultures some atheist and agnostics use the same strategy in parenting styles through to the relationships in the workplace and others. The concept you are not good enough has its roots in educational systems from 17th centuries with religion foothold in educating the masses. The propensity of not going to Sunday school or church segregated the community to idealism of good and evil. This is facilitated today in many cultures, of children not achieving top academic status. The reward often due to not reaching academic accolade with title working class.

The expectations of others may be rooted from hidden failure or lack of forgiveness of themselves. William James book published over over 100 years old called the varieties of religious experiences identifies the division of humanity with religious piety. In essence the extremes of religious piety are not rational but radical psychological experiences of divided self. He postulates that individual religious experiences, not the organized religious life is authentic self.

I have respect for others religious experiences but believe that unconditional love tempered with forgiveness for self is the champion to unlock compassion not dogma. The fact that my wife suffered with agonising cancer and died because of sin the church ideology is preposterous. When you read the pages of history, millions have suffered century after century on exchange rate of interest rate of the Judeo-Christian beliefs of penance to make their God multibillion justification vindicator of rationalization of injustice in in other words the scales are in the favour of unrelenting punitive capitalist. I would never wish any soul to endure torture because of one man sin is intemperance for infinite unconditional consciousness. The statute of eye for eye could have equalled the scales of justice when Abel died at the hands of his brother if you use the bible golden standard of law in the old testament. These statements may trigger the believer consensus, but the original sin doctrine was embellished in Augustine’s theory. The Christian church was corrupted by Constantine abuse of politics and religion dictating the monopoly of the masses during their life and even when they die.

This may alienate some readers on the reality of how religious or other beliefs can suffocate the eternal consciousness part of the self. From my own personal experience if I persisted in my cognitive dissonance with the burden of sin wrapped around my awareness, I would have had the beginning of psychosis and related psychological issues.

The light of truth in my perception is the infinite is not constricted by manmade rules of subsidiary prefects of existence just to please it. The division of the self can infringe from the external idealisation of others not just religious but other outdated philosophies.

Forgiveness is taught in mainstream Religions throughout the world. For further information good site that reviews teachings at promoting forgiveness at its core. https://nexusnovel.wordpress.com/2007/01/03/forgiveness-in-different-religions/

The irony in forgiveness, a person can’t forgive others until they forgive themselves with unconditional love. The culprit for this consequence is the ego who loves control and is afraid of the unknown. The ego elevates its limiting perspective as a survival mechanism at the cost of enjoying the love that flourishes throughout the universe with no cost to both percipients. The ego adulation of prestige and prominence is another survival mechanism. The social brain conditions the community affect of sustainability by conforming the ego again as a slave or master not as an equal in the community. Remember you are not your thoughts, concepts, or status, you are part of the universal consciousness not a division of this or that.

When you discover that its ok to be who you want to be at a core level the shackles and burdens of guilt, shame, and sorrow dissolve. To become authentic is to remove all barriers to transcend to the real dimension of who you are. The negative should, must, are judgements that cause tension and restrict your perspective to gain your full potential. Conversely forgiving self by being present allows the universal love and compassion to flow into your awareness. Let’s reframe this statement rationally and logically. The only real you right now are at this present time.

The body changes it never stays the same, for example over 3.8 million new cells are replenished every second.

A 100 billion neurons are firing off 5-50 messages (action potentials) per second.

The human body contains around 37 billion cells there were about (37 x 21 zeros) chemical reactions, taking place every second.

The reality from a human perspective you or the ego is not in complete control it is all an illusion. On top of this is, the instincts, behaviours, environment etc are driving and keeping you alive. Holding onto guilt and shame only slows down and disfigures your perception of reality.

You are wonderful
you are awesome
you are amazing
you are beautiful
you are so incredible
you are lovable
you are phenomenal
you are inspiring
This is the real you a reflection in one small iota of the infinite. Use forgiveness to unlock compassion. Remember this saying this week and beyond “To Forgive all our errors is to forgive the world with compassion”

Acceptance is to allow yourself to be authentic 

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” Mahatma Gandhi

Permission

Permission can evoke strong feelings in our psyche for several reasons. There might be challenges right now in your interpersonal relationships with the different hierarches rule your world. This could be at a subconscious level relating to our previous experiences with the roots back to childhood experiences. The permission I am focusing on in this article is from an internal perspective. The way we perceive the world is all in our head and sometimes it could be ourselves that get in the way of seeing the bigger and clearer picture.The root of the world comes from permit and the idea as the foundation of the phrase can mean “allow (something) to be done, suffer or allow to be, let pass, let go, let loose; give up, hand over; let, allow, grant” (1) The imaginary barriers of acceptance can block the sunlight of the goodness from the world. The sun is always there but from time-to-time clouds stop the heat and sunshine penetrating on our soil for further growth and nourishment

Why do you need to have permission? The autonomy of being human makes us different from all creatures that we know we are above animals. Child Psychology emphasises the agency or self-governing of a child is a basic human right. (2) Question to ask personally: what is stopping you from having permission to be your natural self? We will explore further in the next section of some reasons why don’t accept yourself and maybe why don’t accept others. 

Entanglement or Enlightenment?

I’m a fan of quantum physics but the hardest part is to explain it in simple terms. I have used this subheading because it gives me the idea of two opposites but at a deeper level the words can mean something else. I am bit of a Logophile (3) and amateur linguaphile (4) in in simple English I am fascinated with words and languages. 

I strongly argue that a person true self from the internal motivations drives them to an outward manifestation of their true potential. What are your deepest motivations or values from the quantum depths of your cells? This linked to a person spiritual perspective of what a person truly believes is authentic to their realty. A friend was seeking enlightenment experience. Wanted to get to the next stage you could say. I would say a person can be entangled in other people belief systems and concepts. Problem with this motivation you ignore the true self and deny or don’t accept your internal beliefs from a core perspective.

One definition said, “A phenomenon in quantum mechanics in which a particle or system does not have a definite state” (5) In another words nothing is fixed until revealed or measured. As a person we continue to evolve and change but our psychological systems can be fixed because of core beliefs restricting flow or an unresolved trauma. These beliefs are our identity what we stand for. This is a cultural and educational process, hence the wide diversity on this small planet. 

I am a spiritual person but from my perspective the ego loves attention and validation from an external validation. I love to explore others’ perceptions especially from a religious perspective. I am not confined to duality that many religious dogmas that see the world in black and white. I would say the spirituality is a colourful experience for a person intrinsic beliefs and values.  Below is a concept of what spirituality is from a qua tun level. I will explain more the next post. 

My spirituality concept

Questions to explore in the meantime

Intention or Obligation?

Where does your attention flow?

What acceptance isn’t ?

Acceptance is permission to be You

  1. https://www.etymonline.com/word/permission
  2. https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx
  3. https://www.thoughtco.com/what-is-a-logophile-1691139
  4. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/linguaphile
  5. https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780199233991.001.0001/acref-9780199233991-e-2477
  6. Quantum entanglement video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkAAbXPEAtU

Acceptance is the first step of discovering you series by Steve Hyne

Open mind and hand = Acceptance

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it” Aristotle

A full mind that never rests cannot reflect on its path or a closed hand cannot receive gifts from the present of life. How we perceive life can be augmented by the brain perception of its limited experience or references. The cast in stone ideologies prevent new discoveries of self and the outer world. Social constructs of our life experiences shape our reality whether we believe that or not. The subconscious patterns of our behaviour in in governance of our core beliefs. To resurrect our consciousness to a higher level, open the mind (1) and the hand. (2)

Imagination 

Have you ever been stuck, run out of steam or ideas? The belief that life is boring, or I can’t change Rather than giving up use another tool that is available to every human, the mind of invention. Imagination is a free resource at your fingertips and it’s free. The mind flexes its muscle with imagination and creativity.

The mind process tens of thousands of thoughts every day. The mind is efficient processor, but the constant use will stifle the creative processes of new ways of thinking. Having time set aside for being creative is never a wasted opportunity. Do what makes you feel good. (3)

The perspective we use every day fits the roles we play from father, friend, or foe. The habitual role of being a friend is good for connection and building bridges of friendship but there is a downside. The friends we interact with our familiar with us and often nothing new happens. Expanding your imagination and taking on a new role or face can enhance our abilities and personality. 

Imagine that you can’t cook very well and all your contacts either eat out or eat just junk food. The opportunity of change can be restricted by choice of friends. The simple solution is friend of an expert not a novice.

Be Courageous and do it 

It is all in your head is what they say but what’s the fear of rejection and failing stopping you was covered in my last post.

  A great innovation of a book I recommend fortifying your courageous spirit 

Adults Book

The first step is sometimes the hardest but by just doing it a great slogan by Nike 

Open mind and open hand = Acceptance

Individuation

Individuation refers to the process through which a person achieves a sense of individuality separate from the identities of others and begins to consciously exist as a human in the world. (4) The word was coined by the great Carl Jung who did extensive work on the human psyche and psychological development.

The secret to accept change is to discover who you are as an individual that corelates to your own values. This is not an overnight process but a series of transformation in conceptual ideas emanating from the self. 

Open Hand = Acceptance

The opposite to an open hand is a tight fist that symbolise a fight response. Or another popular concept here in the UK is tight fisted that means a person is not generous. Charles Dickens wrote the story Christmas Carol depicted a wealthy man called scrooge. (5)  The moral of the story is our contribution to the society and sharing with others. The gift of generosity is not just limited to financial contributions but in deeds of kindness and words of wisdom. Aristotle said It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it”.  For my interpretation of this statement means to evaluate our thoughts with open curious mind then naturally we wouldn’t react to the changes in our life with a fear response and accept it with insight. The brain will manipulate our reality in a dualistic response of an animal response if were not careful. Rather than rebuff life take time for the mind to adjust to the new ide is part of acceptance.

References

1    http://2020-learning.com/2020/12/25/let-it-go-and-play-the-game-of-life/

2    https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Open-Minded

3    http://2020-learning.com/life-skills-creativity/

4    https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007%2F978-1-4614-6086-2_329

5    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-charles-dickens-wrote-christmas-carol-180961507/

Acceptance takes effort to change

There is nothing permanent except change.Heraclitus

The idea that nothing stays the same is a challenge for our brains because of several reasons. Firstly we live in a complex world with too many choices and thinking takes time and energy. The safe option is the easiest choice and if we had a good experience the last time we are primed to make the same selection again. More reasons in the article below of why we love familiarity and why its hard to accept change.

https://cxl.com/blog/science-of-familiarity/

Endure The Pain

Acceptance can effect the situation in different ways from emotional to physical discomfort and even pain at times. The example I will use highlights just two of many plausible outcomes showing that effort is needed to change. The story of individual who has serious weight problems or you could say clinically obese. What are the two main options? 

1: They accepted serous weight issues and continue in the same routine of life and died at a young age with a heart attack or other complications.(Many different Psychologically reasons for denial)

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/denial

2: They accepted there was a problem with thier present state and took responsibility. Endured the losses of not eating comfort foods. Endured the pain of exercise and discomfort. resulting living to a good old age helping and encouraging the family to be healthy.

The phrase No Pain No Gain is not just a physical concept but a psychological identity for change. To admit responsibility will cause emotional disturbances in the Psyche because conflict of two brain patterns. Depression and anxiety are the body alarm system telling you something is wrong. These symptoms will persist until there is a resolution in the subconscious and conscious . Sadly, society paints the picture of wonder drugs solve all problems but if our thinking is out of alignment the drugs just mask the deeper core issues. At this juncture I don’t recommend dispensation of medication but see if there is undercurrent in your Psyche causing disruption with professional help.

We live in world today that promotes self-indulgence and gratification at all costs. Or in other words: Short term gains rather than long term benefits. I agree if you have terminal illness or ongoing major health problems you cant change your perspective will be different on long term perspective. I remember talking to my wife who was having treatment for her cancer and worrying about her figure. I said “for God’s sake enjoy your occasional treat you can’t do anything else( she wasn’t morbidly obese , steroids effected her shape). Her example of enduring pain is one story of a women due for a sainthood. The pain she suffered to live longer savouring every moment to be with her children and family is truly motivating. I can definitely say by her enduring the cancer treatments she lived an extra 18 months. ( book spoiler, next year by august 6th 2022 i will publish a book in her honour , it will be 5 years since her death, the book is called Compassion Conquers Cancer. The book will assist those who are or had to deal with that life changing ordeal)

The truth of the matter is, how desperate are you to see change in your life. It’s going to Bloody hurt is the real message of change. Ironically, you’re going be miserable if you don’t change either now or in the future. Read stories of heroes and heroines that have been in your situation they have done it and so can you.  Jim Carrey’s Said: ‘You Can Fail at What You Don’t Want, So You Might as Well Take a Chance on Doing What You Love’

Focus with No Regrets

Marilyn Monroe said “Fear is stupid. So, are regrets” Why is fear stupid? The brain convinces the individual with fear by a negative emotion. Others jump into fear with excitement. The list of phobias is endless, and majority are irrational. For example, the fear of spiders in the United Kingdom is irrational but some of my grown children have the fear because they learnt it from their mother. Big problem with fear it will distract and stop you focusing on what you want. For example, a small spider often stops my children entering a room driving their focus into flight/fight/freeze response activating the nervous system (HPA). That energy drains the focus of the present time and reinforce the avoidant response in the future. For all you science buffs follow link see the chemistry in your body with the HPA axis system role in stress.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181830/

Regrets are linked to opportunities when action was misdirected or not focused. This is a big psychological problem for some when a close family or friend dies. Helpful basic link for anyone grieving but I recommend professional help.

https://www.wikihow.com/Clear-Regrets-After-Someone-Dies

The regrets can burden a person with negative responses. It is accepting the loss and letting go. Easier done than said but change the word Regrets to Restart. Life is about perspective because what we think is our reality. Imagine hitting and shouting at a lovely, cute puppy. The puppy will grow up with negative reactions. Many rescue dogs have been trained in a caring environment reenforcing new positive behaviour. Similar fashion if you feed your brain with negative emotions, you are going feel miserable then in turn will reenforce the cycle of not accepting because the brain can’t see pass the cycle of change. I remember a few years ago when I had therapy he said “You can choose Your Emotions” at the time I was grieving my wife death, it was a hard pill to swallow. Don’t suppress emotions let them flow but don’t indulge in them because self-pity is not self-compassion.

Ready steady go! Remember these words as a child. The excitement of a race, what’s change apart from you being older? Often, it’s the experiences the brain relays to you in your head that makes us feel old. As a child learning to walk you fell over many times, but did you stop walking? Failure or setbacks are lessons that teach us better ways to try again with resilience. Again, it’s the thoughts in your head not the situation as a child. Your determination as a toddler wanted to explore the world and try new things. Release your inner child again and explore the world with curiosity with no judgments. Adults who give up Judge from emotional response, but children have a go. Even children in their development learn very quickly from the environment of criticism to give up. Remember you are an adult and tell those negative voices in your head where to go. 

Build and Fortify Your Focus

The change comes from within for lasting change. Remember it’s human to have setbacks on your journey. When you hit a setback refocus on the goal. The objective is on change not time unless you have a specific time frame. (More depth on SMART goals, research the internet or link below and ask advice from a professional).

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/smart-goals.htm

The tendency for the brain when you hit setbacks is to give up because the brain or the Ego hates uncertainty. This can trigger the fight/flight response. Problem with this mechanism will distract you from the change. For example, you want to change your body through diet and exercise. There will be occasions in life such as illness, holidays, celebrations etc that will cause setbacks. The power of self-esteem can delude you because the ego hates being wrong and it hates losses. The pride of self-esteem can cause havoc if not careful. Low self-esteem can cripple you if you allow it. This section is Build Focus with an ongoing strategy. Imagine you are at the beach, and you build a lovely sandcastle. The tide comes in and washes it away. The example shows that every project may need a new start but that can be soul destroying with the wrong mindset. The beauty of starting or adjusting can enhance your progress because you have developed skills for example you have lost weight through diet and exercise is proof you can change. Learning and adjusting to your own personal requirements is experience you never learn by reading a book or someone advice. 

Focus has many definitions, but the idea used by successful athletes is centre of their life. They use their resources both physical, mental, and emotional assets. Imagine you are a captain of an army you need use all these resources to win the battle or defend your position. The army will have casualties, but they don’t surrender on the first losses. They regroup and review the damages and start again.

Flexibility is the key to success. If you can’t bend you will snap or crumble. The biggest illusion for the modern civilisation is the greatest mistake. I can’t underestimate this in the reality of being human. CONTROL is illusion of reality because it’s a miracle that you exist. The trillion of biological mechanisms working in unison to become you the living self. I have known many and I’m sure you know of the stories in history where individuals thought they were invincible. I prefer the phrase Life happens and go with the flow. I’m not suggesting rejecting discipline and strategies to reach your goal. When you hit roadblocks or treading water don’t waste your valuable resources trying to control everything and everyone just accept the situation. There may be a better way or easier way or its not the time to push forward yet. Imagine water finds its natural direction, the trees bend, and the nature accepts the challenges but eventually it bounces back. Think of the humble tree life source is dependent on the resources in nature. It doesn’t grow in straight lines either up or down. The simple truth is life is not always a straight line. If change is needed swallow your ego and be flexible.

If you have a lot of mental blocks and resistance to move forward I recommend book below “Letting Go by David Hawkins available also on audible.

Part three to come on Acceptance.

Change The Story to release the Pain

“Tears come from the heart and not from the brain.”

Leonardo da Vinci

Do you love a good movie , a good book or a good song especially if those moments includes happy endings to the story. We remember information easier if there is a story because the brain classifies information in pictures in relation to our experiences. Life events shape our perception and memories either in a positive or negative situation. The reality for all of humanity will experience trauma in all its shapes and forms. Painful experiences can shape our view of reality to be counterproductive for not moving forward. For example PTSD( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the effect has according to N.H.S. U.K says” Someone with PTSD often relives the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks, and may experience feelings of isolation, irritability and guilt. They may also have problems sleeping, such as insomnia and find concentrating difficult.

There are many different approaches to rectify the unsettling events and experiences that occurred in the brain and the body. On my journey of experiences from learning therapeutic counselling skills with many other models and reading many insightful books the many approaches have limitations. One shoe doesn’t fit all because everyone is different and each persons reality will be different. Even twins have different perspectives.There is a fascinating ongoing study to emphasis this point of differences in individuals. The old story nurture very nature.

Here is a quote from paper”These first results highlight that there is a genetic contribution accounting for variance in both grey and white matter. Results from the later phases will further identify the specific genetic and environmental contributions to each aspect of grey matter — volume, thickness and surface area. Because cortical thickness and surface area are both functions of volume (Panizzon et al.,2009), volumetric estimates may not, by themselves, discriminate between genetic and environmentally independent traits of surface area and the correlated traits of cortical thickness  results provide the first outcomes from the TWIN-E study, and indicate it is a generalizable sample that will build on previous findings. It provides the first step towards linking brain imaging data with measures of self-report, functional status, side effects, genomics, cognition, and psychophysiology, to establish endophenotypes for emotional health and risk for mental illness.(https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/twin-research-and-human-genetics/article/twine-project-in-emotional-wellbeing-study-protocol-and-preliminary-heritability-results-across-four-mri-and-dti-measures/A5B1FDA4BAD55F96F56A55588F0D707D#)

I watched a program recently with an interview with Joe Dispenza and he used this quote which is from one of his older books(I have read it)“Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state (story), you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?” 

I was relating to my 20 year son who lives near Oxford explaining how to resolve trauma effectively. My wife (his mother) died of cancer 4 years ago and he was at home experiencing the events with the rest of the family. I said the main reason why some of our past experiences are still painful is because we retell the story with the emotion attached to it. Logically and rationally if we retell the story without the emotion it is just a piece of information. Of course to do this we need to process the emotion and release it or detached the emotional charge. This can take time and sometimes professional help to process it. The suffering Buddha says comes from attachments. An example why changing the story helps is example of myself mentioned earlier. I was happily married for 21 years then my wife died at a young age. It was a massive loss for me and the children and the rest of the family. If I still believe I was in a marriage with a dead person and focus on the past continually, naturally I would get depressed and eventually die with her. The fact is my emotional attachment needed to change. For example if you hit your finger with a hammer you don’t relive the pain every time you use a hammar , the emotional charges has gone. For me personally I needed to ADJUST to a new self and release the idea of being married to a single person again adjusting my life focusing on Steve not Kate. Now when I relate my story I rephrase the emotion on a positive for Kate because she is no longer suffering and for me I had privilege of being blessed with 4 beautiful children and being married. Finally every day is a bonus because ancient wisdom says “If you realise that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you are not afraid of dying, there is nothing you cannot achieve.” 
― Lao Tzu, Dao De Jing

Every problem we encounter on our journey give us opportunities to learn from the experience. I have the wisdom of life experiences of teaching myself compassion. Before my wife died I never thought I was important and believed my feelings were not important. Despite the huge problems you are going to face in this lifetime remember after every storm there is going to be a sunny day. Reprogram your stories to release all the negatively and stop being the victim be victorious instead. Focus on the narratives you tell yourself by lowering expectations when times are hard. Be kind to yourself then you will be kind to the world. The Quran says ” Is the reward of goodness anything but goodness” ہَلۡ جَزَآءُ الۡاِحۡسَانِ اِلَّا الۡاِحۡسَانُ ﴿ۚ۶۱﴾

Tears come from the heart and not from the brain” Emotions tell us that something is wrong for that moment so don’t be ashamed feel the emotions be compassionate to yourself then you can share others pain with no judgments. The heart is the gateway to Change The Story to release the Pain and embrace the love of life.

The Ego and Separation

“Separation causes Alienation from Life Origination”

Steve Hyne

A child would say “what a big head” because of a person bragging about their accomplishments. In truth that would be true if their Ego was inflated in a literal fashion. We all need self esteem because it is crucial for a person survival mechanism and it can give an individual a purposeful life. BUT the problem of many modern societies encourages the self(The Ego) to separate to Me rather than We. The Ego in simple terms from my definition means “Part of a person mind who makes decisions based on previous knowledge either through life experience, academic or knowledge learnt from others”. 

The Ego has many masters from instinctual impulses , survival mechanisms , Psychological Precepts and much more. The problem of allowing the Ego taking total control will cause loss of identity as a human from its natural and true source. The pages of history will tell you this from religious ideology , scientific dogma and the tribal chief or masters.

Western civilisation promotes the illusion of you as a special and truly unique individual. That is true in a simplistic face value system but below all the camouflage the human species are all the same unless you are an alien from another planet in disguise(lol). The protocol of individuality is just a concept of capitalism for control to fool the masses into submission. For example the economy in modern societies is based on the consumption of products. Lets be honest and I include myself , how many products did we buy, not because of a need but because of greed. The propaganda of large cooperations is driven by share indexes not the consumer needs. I am not a communist or radical political insurgent. If you delve deeper below the surface of the obvious “The Promise of Individuality of You being different or special causing separation not unity in the common market.” The complexities of the economic systems has its benefits but it has caused a global separation of wealth of the human species as one example. Scientific data and historical references can be found in Karl Marx works. He has written much on the subject(warn you, it can be subjective to what you read and heavy going.)

A recent shooting in my hometown of Plymouth was a gunman murdering his close family members then finally himself. The tragic circumstances of all including the remaining family and friends will be impacted for a long time. It is very easy to make judgements on news events but that is often the Ego talking. I don’t agree of taking innocent lives but the response of the Emotional Ego comes to preconceived ideas of events. If we look closer at the awful event with open mind of compassion will help us to see another side of the story. If the man had the support he needed from mental , Psychological and emotional systems the probability that he wouldn’t of killed anyone.( At this juncture, sometimes with all the resources doesn’t stop tragic events unfolding sadly.) One reason why the gunman acted crazy from my perspective was because the social brain craves community and belonging. Humans are social creatures and need love to thrive and survive. The core foundation of human needs is love in all its different formats. The reports indicated that the man hate was fuelled by isolation and separation of his basic human need.

Sacred Texts of The Ego restricting Compassion

Through out history the sacred texts have highlighted the importance of compassion. A fundamental reason why religious ideologies have survived by the wonderful stories of love and empathy. In contrast the Ego is driven by reward and aversion principle of core beliefs in binary thinking. Sacred texts very often touch the heart of humanity essence of compassion and empathy. The religious gurus were not demonstrative of just Self they were focused on the community and others. The texts quoted just a sample of many instances emphasising the We not Me as the foundation of the true self.

The Master said,”In ancient times, people learned with a view toward themselves. Nowadays , people learn with a view toward others”

Confucuism: Analects X1V:25 Confucius

The Ego has less influence and control of the self by regular reflection in meditation practices. The Ego hates quietness it loves distraction because it is a biological mechanism not the real you. Confucius contrast learning from others as medium of knowledge. A child can teach its parents , even animals can teach us wisdom. Being present with others turning the Ego off or I imagine putting my little snappy Ego in the cage while listening. Others can teach us many wonderful things and this imbues a closeness and connection coming from the heart and not the head. One of my insights and sayings about compassion is ” Fill your cup first then you can pour compassion on others.

The ancients acted in Dao. Not to give the citizens knowledge, but to let them become simple.

Citizens are hard to govern when they have too much knowledge.

So, using knowledge to govern the nation is thievery. Not using knowledge to govern the nation is good fortune.

Understand these two and use them as principles. Always understand these principles, this is called Primal De. Primal De is deep and everlasting!

When creatures return, they reach their greatest harmony.

Taoism: Dao De Jing 65 Lao Tzu

The word Dao in simple terms is way of behaviour and actions throughout the universe. The word De in simple terms living in line with the laws of nature as results of our actions. It reminds me of being kind to everyone because one day we might need their kindness . The old english saying “what goes around comes around and you reap what you sow by Jesus. Did you notice that too much knowledge or rules causes problems in everyday life. Another saying I like . rules are made to be broken. Deep down humanity knows how to treat and respect life it is part of human nature. The Ego loves to implement a cascade of dos and don’t because of the premise of fear. The motivation in these passage highlighting come from the heart not the head of knowledge.

“He who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings, and all beings in his own Self, and looks on everything with an impartial eye.”

Hinduism: The Bhagavad Gita

The Gita is allegory of Ego(Self) fighting against the rest of the universe. This is my interpretation of reading the book in very basic terms (There are more significant details in the book but from a Westerner perspective I have put it in simple terms and I am not a Hindu Scholar). The quote is important from a humanist viewpoint because we are all the same in nature. A dog is a dog and a human is a human. The Ego loves to classify and label things because it makes its job easier to navigate the world especially in communication. Humans have all the same basic needs , water, food , sleep , sex and so on. The dictionary definition for impartial is : treating all rivals or disputants equally. When we look or observe everything with an impartial eye we don’t judge others with the Ego. Everyone in society are important, can you imagine a world without cleaners or conversely a world without scientist. Compassion moves humanity as a part of the whole as we not I. Thankful for the lowly keeping the earth clean and grateful for the scientist to save the lives of others and the planet.

17 ‘You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you may most certainly rebuke your neighbor, but shall not incur sin because of him. 18 You shall not take revenge nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor (acquaintance, associate, companion) as yourself; I am the Lord.

Jewish: Leviticus 19:17&18 Jewish Law ( Part of old Testament bible Amplified Bible version)

The Jewish separation as a nation was clearly set out in their way of worship compared to the alien residents( Non Jews) The verses emphasis on not acting from a place of hate towards those that are different. The Ego of a person mind constructs core values and beliefs of what it has learnt. This framework can supersede compassion of rules and regulations practiced by the Jewish nation as mandatory and formalistic. The verse reminded the reader to go beyond an Ego set of constraints from the head lead to the inner person of the heart. Concludes the verse of love your associate from compassion not by the Ego.

“There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.

Buddhism: Gautama Buddha

The Ego can control you or you can control the Ego reactions. American Psychological Association dictionary Ego control says: Personality characteristic consisting of the tendency to inhibit the expression of emotional and motivational impulses, ranging from under control to over control of such impulses. The experiences in history clearly left a legacy of individuals Egos become so inflated or out of control basically narcotic and narcissistic caused much suffering. Working with a group of people from small office to a large arena only takes one or two individuals to cause fractious environment by their undisciplined mind being overrun by alcohol. Buddha through his teachings emphasised the root of all suffering is attachments. That could be people , ideas , places etc. It is easy to say I am easy going but being present and letting go of precepts is a harder activity. The sacrifice of ones attachments to help others is no easy task. The Ego resists change and familiar lifestyles and patterns. If it was easy the equilibrium of wealth throughout the planet and wars would cease because Egos be disciplined put others first especially others needs despite the differences.

43 “There is a saying, ‘Love your friends and hate your enemies.’ 44 But I say: Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way you will be acting as true sons of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust too. 46 If you love only those who love you, what good is that? Even scoundrels do that much. 47 If you are friendly only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even the heathen do that.

Christianity : Jesus Christ Matthew 5:43-47 (Part of the new testament of bible Living Bible version)

When a friend or close family member upsets us generally it is easy to forgive and move on. But if The Ego is in control it always wants to be right and first. Compromise isn’t in the Ego dictionary. Jesus encourages to end differences by praying for enemies. Praying for people who inflict pain is not easy because often the wounds are deep. The emotional barrier of separation of binary philosophy stops mankind seeing beautiful rainbow of diversity on earth. The verse says that even the Christian creator is benevolent to the pagans , it doesn’t judge or disregard as person status. Examine nature we don’t see animals being prejudice it is only instinct that they differentiate in their choices. Humanity have a higher consciousness than animals with a core strength of compassion.

“Have you then considered him who takes his low desire for his god, and Allah has made him err having knowledge and has set a seal upon his ear and his heart and put a covering upon his eye. Who can then guide him after Allah? Will you not then be mindful?”

Quran 45:23 ( Shakir )

Quran identifies the desire to a god. The Ego can act like a god. The Egyptian Pharaohs embody the idea of their position to be worshiped while on earth and preparing for next life. Their desires to take all their attachments including live individuals at their death into the next life. The rational mind knows it is impossible take anything into the next world. The Ego thinks its invincible and will never die and pursues that journey at all cost. The realty of life is transitory and the Quran reminds the reader that knowledge is the the problem. The Ego lifeblood is knowledge from its own perspective and storehouse of knowledge not from a higher source. From a Ego perspective desire of self is more important than others. This causes separation of We To Me that inhibits the the true self to give to others with unconditional love.

In conclusion from a limited human mind I have endeavoured to show through religious ideologies the key of knowledge scattered for our Ego to observe. The Ego induces separation then it causes alienation from the origin of life.

Cultivation and Refinement

“”Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body.

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Growth can start with one new seed
Cultivation is essential for growth

Expressing feelings is a part of human nature but sometimes we don’t know how or what is happening to the mind and body and feel stuck? Exploring challenges from a fresh and different perspective could be the cultivation of the new you. With support and clarity from the foundation of compassion is the start of a new journey to unlock your unlimited potential. No one has all the answers but by sharing a difficulty with a trusted companion may be all you need. If you don’t have access to such resources drop me a line via my website

Love – Control – Greatness

“Love has no age, no limit; and no death”. John Galsworthy

“Because we are afraid of life, we seek to control or master it”. Alexander Lowen

“We expect nothing but greatness from ourselves”. Karl-Anthony Towns

An author, a psychologist and an athlete coined the 3 quotes above. I have written down on these 3 words Love-Control-Greatness on the top of my white board in my office. In this post we will explore these 3 concepts from my humble perspective on how it can have a positive effect in a person life. Life is very different for everyone and at 53 years of age I am discovering that humanity has the greatest diversity of species on this planet. Not from biological model although genetic hereditary is different in every soul. The expression of human thought, voice and action is overwhelmingly diverse. If we examined each of these concepts, I’m sure the reader will say, BUT what about? I encourage you to contradict my perspective because then the words are not just words on this post but ideas to assimilate. The brain loves familiarity, and it seeks the easiest route via thought to action. When you have a new appraisal of a familiar idea it will add a new dimension to your mind because of neuroplasticity of the inner workings in your biological mechanism of reality. Civilisations are here with all its splendour and manifestations because someone had new perspective or idea to share and made it grow by different perceptions. Here goes challenge your perspective and the author concept.

 “Love has no age, no limit, and no death” John Galsworthy an author

What does love mean to you? In therapy a therapist is taught to have unconditional love for the client. What does that mean in practice? The individual has internal conflicts that often spills out into the real world. The results affect their relationships and in turn that effects their life. For example, a person has internal anger for a million different reasons. The inner conflict of anger is threatening to their homeostasis (Body at optimum potential with no conflicts) because naturally humans want to feel at peace biologically and psychologically etc. We know the effect of being around an anger person because we want peace to thrive. The angry person vents their inner conflicts to the therapist if they desire. The therapist is trained to manage their personal feelings so the person can feel accepted and feel safe and unconditionally loved despite the eruption of volatile emotions. The relationship does have boundaries for the safety of all. The object of unconditional love allows the angry person to understand the anger they have internally. The therapist has empathy for the person because nobody really wants to be angry all the time it’s not natural live like that for anyone. A trained therapist is one example of what unconditional love is from a different perspective. 

Humans equate love very often in terms of love = something in return. For example, the parent may say to the child I love you if you do this or don’t do that? What if the child can’t do this or that? Many parenting styles have been introduced into society through various domains and have changed their modals of behaviour. I am a parent and what I know today is different from what I knew 20 years ago about child rearing. Having 4 children each of them are totally different, yet all from same biological parents.  The point of this is acknowledging diversity in a family cannot be restricted to one shoe fits all approach in parent child relationship.  John Galsworthy said “Love has no age, no limit”. Healthy Relationships are the glue that holds humanity together in love. 

Love for humanity starts from within not externally. The baby can learn love from birth but sadly like a bruised apple being mishandled incorrectly they can be misshaped in their perspective and identity. The human spirit can show a magnitude of goodness despite falling from the tree. The love from within will affect the outer world of the person reality. The inspirational example of human resilience is all around us because many people love life, and they love others.  John Galsworthy said at the end of the quote love has no death. My neighbour was a lovely old lady who had challenges the last two years of her life. Her husband after 68 years of marriage had go into a home during the covid restrictions, he was a gentle man and she had restrictions on seeing her husband. She had complications of her legs. On one occasion shell feel and I had to get the ambulance because she was stranded on the floor with broken ankle. She went in and out of hospital with ongoing health complications. She didn’t give up because she loved her family and she loved life despite her limitations. Six months after her husband death she died and now she is at peace. Her mother died when she was 6 years old and was raised by her grandmother for a while. She had other challenges in her life, but she loved life because it came from within not her circumstances. Finally on this story to emphasis about love, her daughter text me and said she will be missed by many, or I would say she is still loved even though she dead.

The big question is how can I develope the love from within? One simple word is compassion. Being compassionate is about perspective and what better place to start with is with self. The inner voice we carry can either be compassionate or opposite. The antonyms are animosity, cruelty, meanness, mercilessness, hatred, harshness, and indifference. These negative traits are fuelled by core beliefs, ignorance, and inner conflicts with projections of unresolved conflicts of a person life. The narratives we carry are linked to past histories and often not our own ideas or words but others. The compassionate soul would say I can’t do that, but the harsh dictator says in a person head “I’m lazy, they want love me if I don’t do it, I need to do it because etc…” Learning compassion isn’t easy for many because of a lifetime of not having compassion or understanding the term. It wasn’t until my wife was fighting cancer, then dying that I am now beginning to understand compassion. My body in the past would often say to me via my inner voice says, “You need to do it”. Now I am learning to be kind to my body give it what it needs.

Compassion covers all areas of life with the relationship we have with ourselves first then to others. The work we choose to do, the life we live and the impact we have on the world around us. Let us go back to the quote again and reflect about life “Love has no age, no limit, and no death” Love has no age is a great reference for living because society and the brain like to classify and label abstract ideas, so it is easier to navigate. In different cultures the parameters of age are very different. In some cultures, age for marriage, sexuality and love is vastly different. The other end of the spectrum the age a person in society effects what responsibilities and employment choices. We are influenced by age as a negative catalyst in the media of the endless youthful lust on screens and magazines only the young can have. The stereotypes of love = age constraints stop a person embracing love for themselves and others. For example, the saying “you’re too old” or “you’re too young” is simple way of classification without examining the actual situation and person. With this limiting belief stops individuals trying new opportunities. Changing your career, that person is too old or too young for you and give up work and retire etc. Love has no limits with age its only a perception of a person life.

 “Because we are afraid of life, we seek to control or master it”.

The simple reason why we don’t do certain actions or avoid it is based in fear. I have written a book all about fear and how it relates to life, for further reading.  https://author.amazon.com/books. Closely related to fear is control either imagined or real. The brain is in simple terms is lazy in making decisions. Let’s face it if it was that easy there would be no obesity, no debt, no upsets, and every task we started would be finished. I am a very determined guy and many times I have taken the easiest route knowing it’s not the best route. Remember we are all human and it is a part of life to fail or give up at times. The brain must have quick decision responses for survival, or we would die. The brain of the average adult in a resting state, consumes about 20 percent of the body’s energy. In real terms that about a fifth of your resources without exertion. The brain uses binary system of response yes or no simply put. Imagine our neurons on the synapse gap across a nerve cell or neuron had multiple choices to transmit energy on a roundabout of 10 exits before it sends an impulse to another neuron. In essence the time delay would cause the body to a standstill and all systems couldn’t work together in synchronicity and collapse. 

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who is like a control traffic light? They act in such a way as when the light says stop, everyone must stop or when the light says go everyone must go. Living or working with someone like that is exhausting and do they really have full control. Since the industrial resolution the control factor in life has been fabricated by the institutions. Modern work life, family life and social life time tables are all constrained by other people’s ideas. The realty is in large part of our life we are in the control of others. At this juncture I will say there are many benefits to the structure and management in society so we can function as a group. 

I love the origins of words in the English language and one example is the word control. Defintion “To check the accuracy of, verify; to regulate,” “a counter, register,”

diminutive of rota “wheel” medieval method of checking accounts by a duplicate register. https://www.etymonline.comThe root word suggests revaluating for mistakes not the idea of do or die of binary thinking that many conceptualize in their world. The control an individual seeks is often connected to emotional response. The fight or flight response which is fantastic mechanism to help us escape from the danger. The control response of fear is associated to trauma that is not resolved in a person inner world. Problem with being stuck in the fight or flight response the brain is not present to make a proper appraisal of a situation. For example, as a child we were keen to have our approval from friends and parents which is natural. But the high expectations for example of passing all your grades reflected on your identity either as a good or negative label. Imagine the young child who doesn’t have the ability at that time to fulfil their parents’ expectations. Thankfully my parents were not like that, but they were too much the other way which is not the best solution either. The young child who failed to have approval of others the brain will remember that. The child will have the fight or fear response when similar situations in the future. For example, the child is an adult and is doing well in their career. A chance for promotion is encouraged but the individual needs to go on few courses or night school. The friends or partners could take on the role of the adult’s parents pushing the adult to succeed, or they may disapprove of them for not trying hard enough. This is a simple illustration seek to control the situation of others. The first quote Love has no limits is the foundation of healthy life as the motivation of why we and others act not by control.

We seek to control or master it is a powerful motivation for personal growth. The great athletes didn’t take the easy option. Reading the pages of history, the amazing feats of human’s accomplishments is inspirational. I am thankful to the scientist through their diligence and perseverance, the inventors, the scholars, the authors, and many more for sharing their efforts. We have examples who can motivate and teach us to become greater.

I am reading parts of Confucius Analects every morning when I get up to start my day.  He was alive between 770–481 BCE and lived in China. Often the Analects would start with “The Master said… sayings and teachings about everyday life from past sages in China. Confucius philosophy was to keep learning or seek knowledge of self and the world as the beginning of heaven on earth. For example, Analects V:26 “The Master said” It is all over! I have not yet seen one who could perceive his faults, and inwardly accuse himself”. Maybe one reason we don’t want to examine our inner world because afraid of what we might find and don’t want to change our faults.  Remember the 2nd quote “Because we are afraid of life, we seek to control or master it”. When we acknowledge our faults is the beginning of healing and knowledge to become a better version of ourselves. Carl Jung calls this shadow work or it is introspection in Psychology. The inner mind or subconscious thoughts are the real you are driving your reality. One reference put it this way “The unconscious mind is a reservoir of feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that are outside of our conscious awareness”.  

The big question is how can we access that reservoir and fill it with what we want to be conscious? The simple or direct answer is changing your life patterns and guess what I have written a book about that. https://author.amazon.com/books. The book is about life patterns and the law of attraction if you want to read further with science and useful tips. I’m not trying sell my books but by synchronisation they are in this post, it must be my subconscious manipulating me lol. In brief conclusion on this point on change, less is more and we are all working progress to master the life we would like.

“We expect nothing but greatness from ourselves”

If life sucks or you are stuck the reason is you’re at a plateau probably. The Chinese word Dao means a way or a path. Confucians used the term Dao to speak of the way or lifestyle. The Dao De Jing says: ‘Humanity follows the Earth, the Earth follows Heaven, Heaven follows the Dao, and the Dao follows what is natural”. (Lao Tzu) I believe life is like a stream that has its own route and water can effortlessly flow over or around a pebble or stone. When water is restricted or stopped in its track it becomes stagnant and polluted. All streams flow into the rivers and all rivers flow into the oceans. Similar way our life path or course may seem like an insignificant stream, but the big wide oceans need the contribution of many streams. Our perspective on what greatness means to us now at this moment not yesterday or tomorrow. When you compare yourself with others you will truly despair with a distorted view.  When your path or stream is not flowing with greater intentions of being great the river may dry up.

There could be many reasons why we are at a plateau or feel stuck or even life may suck. The change of greatness is not what we do but how we think and believe. Our friend the brain doesn’t like change or unfamiliarity, so it takes the most comfortable route. Go back to the fight or fight response the brain remembers failure and avoids disaster again for survival mechanism. The brain likes reward because of dopamine response so use that as a trigger to get started for change to become great. The secret is to start small achievable goals then you will feel great and be motivated to try again. For example, you want to lose weight. The Best way to lose weight is to reduce calories or use calories in a positive way. Exercise will help but its not always guaranteed because you can’t always exercise. You can guarantee whether what you are going eat or too fast.  Many individuals go from a high calorie then straight to a prisoner diet which is a shock for the body. Reduce your intake slowly adjusting your lifestyle then it’s not too taxing on the brain and body. The idea is small changes over time will create big impact, they call it compound interest.

Being great requires motivation and knowledge. Learn everything you can about changing a part of your world. Feed your unconscious with positive information and learn why, where, and how and have a go. What has helped me to be motivated when my brain says otherwise, I tell myself “I am a samurai and want to follow the path” I envision myself as a mighty samurai who can take on the world because of my honour. Think of a role model who can teach you and inspire you to become the greatest version of you.

I want to finish with a Sufi story that will encapsulate deeper significance of this post as a gift. The allegory help you see not the present situation or future goal but the work. 

There was once a man on his death bed, and he asked his 7 lazy sons to sit next to him as he was dying. He told them he had buried gold in the field, and they would become rich. He said also to them, when he is dead, they can find the treasure. After their father death the lazy sons started digging for gold in the field but couldn’t find any. Instead of just digging they decided to plant wheat after working hard looking for the treasure. They did this every year, and they repeated the process of planting wheat. They became rich selling the wheat and honest hard-working farmers and forgot what their father said about the hidden treasure.

How many Dimensions Are there in Your Realty?

How do you see the universe

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.” Lao Tzu

The theoretical framework of Superstring Theory posits that the universe exists in ten different dimensions. https://phys.org/news/2014-12-universe-dimensions.html

According to Hinduism there are 64 main dimensions and each dimension is further divided into many sub-dimensions.

http://www.internationaljournalssrg.org/IJAP/2018/Volume5-Issue1/IJAP-V5I1P102.pdf

The Buddhism in essence focus is one present realtiy, the focus is on here and now. In a simple way it teaches there is only one dimension the present truth and all or everything is connected, obviously it is more more complicated than that statement. Buddha said: “As a net is made up of a series of ties, so everything in this world is connected by a series of ties. If anyone thinks that the mesh of a net is an independent, isolated thing, he is mistaken. It is called a net because it is made up of a series of interconnected meshes, and each mesh has its place and responsibility in relation to the other meshes.”

https://www.dhammawiki.com/index.php/Parallel_universes

Christianity has different views on the topic. The extra dimension of Spiritual realm is mystery to many in defining it within oneself or outside. The Bible said “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” Genesis 1:1 . From my perspective there is at least 3 dimensions mentioned, one that God is in , then one dimension of heaven and one for earth earth.

https://biblehub.com/nlt/genesis/1.htm

Islam is similar to other religious philosophy ( I am not expert on Islam) The concepts of dimensions are many or just one, I would say it is how you interpret or personal beliefs according to one’s perspective.

https://aboutislam.net/muslim-issues/science-muslim-issues/aliens-alternate-dimensions-allah/

Finally a Sufi teacher told me there are at least 8 dimensions or worlds but all in the same world or dimension. He explained trying to describe colour to a blind person. I have read much of Rumi work and often he explains the reality what we see is not the actual reality through the use of many wonderful stories or parables.

The humble human for centuries has relied on spiritual doctrine or sages to define the dimensions of reality. Then science through its lens of perception of measuring through the analytical brain of the senses comes to its own conclusions.

The aspect of a person mind will interpret how many dimensions through intuitive, cognitive assessment with core beliefs as the foundation of a person experiences. The psychological models of a child’s mind and old person mind is totally different because of not just core beliefs and experiences but biological underpinnings of perspective.

In conclusion in this brief synopsis of dimensions I encourage you to think of new dimensions when Captain Kirk said on the enterprise “: To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man one has gone before!

Graphic by Steve Hyne