Category Archives: Medium Post

The virtue of Respect supporting Personal Boundaries

“Respect your life and others will have a choice to respect themselves,” Steve Hyne

Respecting a person’s privacy, respecting a person’s dwellings and respecting a person’s identity are an emotive subjects. Respect in different cultures can mean a completely new perspective from one’s own narrative. I will not focus this topic on systems of ideology or dogmatism, but from a subjective point of view as an insight in my own life, but a thesis of contemplation in the modern world.

Reason I came to this arena of philosophy is because of my quest to improve my awareness of how I perceive my mind interpretation of my present life with the goal of improvement in practical living. It is easy to continue the same old life with little thought or contemplation.

Chinese philosophy has inspired me on virtues from Confucian teachings. At this conjuncture from a political orthodoxy, present governance would benefit from reading the lessons. One quote from the inspiring civil servant Confucius said: If you look after the people, the people will look after you.

Baruch Spinoza’s ethics of virtues is another source of relating to the world and one’s interpretation as a function of being. Recently reading again Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography life pattern as he implemented the system of virtues.

Virtue is the bull work of who you are and how you relate to yourself and the greater world. I have realised that gurus, eminent philosophers and other mediums don’t understand your personal world but only give a fraction of insight because of their subjective insight. The best life anyone can live is from the internal navigation of personal virtues, Carl Jung said, to have their own personal myth. Here is an illustration show how the individual mind is always subjective.

The sail boat needs the natural elements and winds to navigate the waters from A to B, ones intended destination. According to one resource optimun sailing (,

Use shoal-thermals to gain distance

Calculate sea-breeze strength

Expect gusty onshore winds near steep headlands

Watch out for gusty offshore winds

Take advantage of cat’s-paws

Who has the responsibility to take control of the boat, especially if only you are on it? The natural winds are not aimed towards our preferences, occasionally we have the luck on our side. The sailor has to decide moment by moment to use the slip stream to maximise the flow. Our subjective influence is imperative to arrive safely at one’s destination not just in sailing but also in riding the ocean of life.

Respect origin from Latin word that conveys the idea act of looking back. The verb conveys the idea regarding notice with especial attention. The Hebrew word respect coveys the idea of Honor while the Classical Greek word conveys the idea of reverence to the gods. From Greek mythology, Eusebia was the personified spirit of piety, loyalty, duty and filial respect. The word associated in the bible rending godliness or devotion to God’s commands. For Platonists, eusebeia means the right conduct regarding the gods. For the Stoics, the idea of empirical knowledge of how God should be worshiped from subjective perception.

The reason I wanted to explain roots of respect according to etymology of the word is a substrate of western thought throughout Europe and the Americas.

I was raised as a fundamental christian and have a Jewish father. The religious connotation of respect is always a reference to external factors. I have experienced conventions of respect from a punitive stimulus, not a personal responsibility of virtuous conduct in the absolute.

I am respectful of other religions but not affiliated with any, as I perceive the responsibility of ethical responsibilities is ornate and subjective, similar to the idea of Stoic philosopher.

Eastern culture, from my research and personal experience, treats you as a god out of respect according to their thousand of years hierarchy systems both in India, Japan and China. Combination of fear and family system reinforced the platitude of respect in eastern and western thought.

Elevated consciousness has led to a proliferation of concepts, as humanity endeavours to reach new heights of understanding. Innovation, engineering, technologies changed the world’s landscape in the name of progress.

Open floor of new thought over the last two thousand years seen the rise and fall of dictators, regimes, slavery causing impeachment for the soul.

Respect your life and others will have a choice to respect themselves. Freedom of thought is the benchmark of maturity. Question I endeavour to ponder on is: Where does this idea, feeling and thought come from and is it important to me?

Respecting life as a personal gift is a fundamental blessing for me. Recognising the challenges I have encountered due to not having respect for myself, as my boundaries were not in place. Easy to blame others as there will be no internal search of responsibility. Religion and politics use scapegoats to escape the personal responsibility to respect.

Taking control of one’s thoughts and feelings is the start of respecting one’s boundaries and others’ rights. I call this scenario the consequence chain. One idea leads to a thought, then thought ruminates on bias with the influence of emotions.

One of my tricksters was after a hard day, either stress or physical exhaustion, often both. I need a glass of wine, then add a bar of chocolate then waste several hours watching numbing tv drama. This is not wrong, but the initial thought was I need this became a chain of events wasting an opportunity, something I rather do.

Organised the idea of respect in order to different category is a good place to investigate. Here are a few ideas to consider for personal growth and it will enrich your respect with greater boundaries.

1 Do I respect my body with the ingestion of food and liquids?

2 Do I respect my time as a function of personal responsibility?

3 Do I respect my resources not wasting them on trivia?

4 Do I respect my mind with insights and enlightenment?

5 Do I respect my authentic self and listen to my heart?

Implementing personal boundaries with respect elevates awareness and mental clarity. The brain has a lazy machine operating system focused on reward or aversion. Respecting the gift of choice as a wonderful opportunity to enjoy every moment will serve you as the director of your life, not as a dictator.

Honesty is the best policy

Extract from my forth coming book Compassion Transcends the loss of a loved one

Lao Tzu words are the so practical in rebuilding your life and when you examine them and apply them by supporting your family with a stable and protective structure for your family live a new life. Listen to the great Chinese sage words with anticpation and reflect on them.

True words aren’t pretty. Times when we say to the children mum (or dad) is not here, so we can’t do this or that because of finances or lack of time or even energy just be honest. The same self-talk is recognising you have limits, are not pretty words at times but it is essential to be honest with self so you can transcend the old life of the loved one you all miss.

Pretty words aren’t true. People may flatter you or say things to try and fix you and the family. The denial of loss is hard to accept but not healthy pushing it away, it will only come back to haunt you. Be realistic, life has changed and to covering over loss with pretty words doesn’t help. The words don’t change anything so when others endeavour to ignore your loss with the pretty words like move on, or others are in a worse situation than you, or the loved one is an angel in heaven can hurt.listen To Lao Tzu next insightful words.

One who is good doesn’t argue. It is easy to retaliate when other words and actions hurt us. The simple truth is they are not you are experiencing your feelings, events in your life. Their perspective has a different lens so accepting others going see life differently helps us understand their actions. When you argue you can’t love so what is the best solution starting a war or loving others and forgiving their ignorance.

One who knows doesn’t boast. The projection of pain onto others is an easy way to dissipate suffering from oneself but it causes suffering for others. Understanding the inner world or know thyself is the silence between greatness and resilience. The Chinese idea here comes from the word abundance according to one source. The suffering one has causes abundant of information and feelings to flow into one’s life. The best student learns from life not the ideas of others or from books and words.

One who boast doesn’t know. The Dao de Jing writing has 81 verses, and this is a part of the last verse. The humble sage or teacher doesn’t need to conquer the world with the sword or anger. When you read the great teachers who have shaped our world with everlasting truths they didn’t have to prove anything. They were honest about themselves, the world around them and the life they lived. All the great teachers suffered loss and we can gain much from their example in transcending the loss of a loved one.

New post on Medium: Behaviour Patterns Identity crisis with Attachment

I will be posting more on Medium because it has many advantages for the reader and writer.

Extract from article

The relating function of how the psyche perceives life is through stories and symbolism. The brain orchestrates an experience through the filters of a person soul. The images of what a person believes and sees is from a second reference (this can change if the person is open minded not fixed with a though investigation in depth psychology or meditation and other means). Illustrate this: A young child can’t see over the wall, so the parent tells the child what they see. When the child is taller it sees the picture, its parent projected on to them often repeats the projection as their story. For example, why do you say the colour of the sky is blue, it is because someone told you it was? Oscar Wilde said it beautifully “Most people are other people Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation The identity crisis can keep a person a prisoner attached to an illusion of living some one else dream and not their own.

More in the follow link