Extract from my forth coming book Compassion Transcends the loss of a loved one
Lao Tzu words are the so practical in rebuilding your life and when you examine them and apply them by supporting your family with a stable and protective structure for your family live a new life. Listen to the great Chinese sage words with anticpation and reflect on them.
True words aren’t pretty. Times when we say to the children mum (or dad) is not here, so we can’t do this or that because of finances or lack of time or even energy just be honest. The same self-talk is recognising you have limits, are not pretty words at times but it is essential to be honest with self so you can transcend the old life of the loved one you all miss.
Pretty words aren’t true. People may flatter you or say things to try and fix you and the family. The denial of loss is hard to accept but not healthy pushing it away, it will only come back to haunt you. Be realistic, life has changed and to covering over loss with pretty words doesn’t help. The words don’t change anything so when others endeavour to ignore your loss with the pretty words like move on, or others are in a worse situation than you, or the loved one is an angel in heaven can hurt.listen To Lao Tzu next insightful words.
One who is good doesn’t argue. It is easy to retaliate when other words and actions hurt us. The simple truth is they are not you are experiencing your feelings, events in your life. Their perspective has a different lens so accepting others going see life differently helps us understand their actions. When you argue you can’t love so what is the best solution starting a war or loving others and forgiving their ignorance.
One who knows doesn’t boast. The projection of pain onto others is an easy way to dissipate suffering from oneself but it causes suffering for others. Understanding the inner world or know thyself is the silence between greatness and resilience. The Chinese idea here comes from the word abundance according to one source. The suffering one has causes abundant of information and feelings to flow into one’s life. The best student learns from life not the ideas of others or from books and words.
One who boast doesn’t know. The Dao de Jing writing has 81 verses, and this is a part of the last verse. The humble sage or teacher doesn’t need to conquer the world with the sword or anger. When you read the great teachers who have shaped our world with everlasting truths they didn’t have to prove anything. They were honest about themselves, the world around them and the life they lived. All the great teachers suffered loss and we can gain much from their example in transcending the loss of a loved one.