Core Beliefs: Trust
“If you aren’t worthy of trust, others won’t trust you.” Dao De Jing 23
A core belief is a value system that we adopt and assimilate by experience. The experience usually involves the parents’ values and the actions. In childhood studies, the research of children’s experiences predicts behaviours that are long lasting. The observation of child psychologist identified traits and markers that become part of a child intrinsic belief system. The core beliefs identify cultures as remarkably different. In a multiracial society, there is a magnitude of what we expect from a cultural perspective that impinges on ideas and concepts of what core beliefs are important. The subject of trust is not a quick appraisal because there are so many dimensions on how a person relates to the world.
I will focus on the reference of trust from a psychological framework. The definition according APA dictionary defines trust as “reliance on or confidence in the dependability of someone or something. In interpersonal relationships, trust refers to the confidence that a person or group of people has in the reliability of another person or group; specifically, it is the degree to which each party feels that they can depend on the other party to do what they say they will do. The key factor is not the intrinsic honesty of the other people, but their predictability. Most psychologists consider trust to be a primary component in mature relationships with others, whether intimate, social, or therapeutic.” I have highlighted in bold the two factors that help understand our perception of trust from a deeper level. I will argue that honesty is an important core value because that is an authentic self in relating to itself and the world. At this conjecture, trust begins at home with internal self.
Reliability is a good way to understand intrinsic nature because it builds a framework of how we perceives the world from conception onward. Life experiences can compound a person’s view of the world with confirmation biases of core beliefs. Relationships define the core of who you are. Attachment styles, interpersonal evaluation, family system dynamics, educational integration with social, spiritual, and cultural modalities. Precognitive precepts from a deep core are some things imprinted in a psyche. Reliability of trust will be determined by factors such as abuse of children’s experiences. This is evident in the body language, vocabulary, energy, and the interpersonal relationship management. The acute stress response (flight/fight/Freeze/fawn) of a person’s nervous system is associated with pivotal events in a person’s life.
It is important to describe the ANS response to the 4 states because it helps you interpret at a base line resonance of your emotional health. Take away any judgements of your feelings and emotions because they are your friends, not your enemies. You may suppress uncomfortable sensations or not even be aware of them. From a homeostasis perspective, your body is doing what it thinks is best. I will illustrate the importance of understanding biology of the psyche, an ingredient not to ignore. Imagine you have a child who is always hyperactive. It can’t sit still, loads of energy, etc. A parent can easily be exhausted and frustrated with a child full of energy. Review the history of the child last 6 months and you discover its nutrition has changed. You discover the root cause was in the child’s biology’s diet effecting the homeostasis of the young child. You changed the nutrition and after 3 months, there is a remarkable change in the child behaviour.
This biological response, in simple terms, is arousal from a psychological perspective. The acute stress response is an indicator how a person behaves in relationships and we define this in the trust connection. An overview of the 4 states of the acute stress response help see if there is any connection to trust. The history of a person will have different degrees in responses. The brain will rerun the programs when it believes encounters similar situations regardless of the validity of the event. The correlation of biological states of ANS is so complex I will endeavour to simplify from my perspective.
The action of running away is a case of avoidance. An independent viewpoint translates this. An introvert finds safety in not making too many relationships. The biology of doing rather than being is seen someone who is always on the go. Distraction from others is a coping mechanism of not engaging with feelings of self and others.
The boxer is hyper vigilant, ready to defend or strike. The fighter has the image of winning at all costs because of its life or death threat. I translate this as a love hate perspective of self and others. Extreme work ethic punishing the body is the biology of the person. The top dog must be the best, have the best, a warrior fighting for a cause. The cycle of high energy with unrealistic expectations of self and others comes with a price of exhaustion and separation.
No action can appear the safest route, hoping threat will pass. We can easily translate this, as can’t be bother or stuck in unhealthy situations. An animal hides to avoid confrontations. The biology of apathy or inaction in the short term may be safe, but inaction will cause deterioration in the psyche and body. The flow of life becomes stagnant and unhealthy relationships can fester.
Please others to avoid fight, flight, and freeze scenarios. Imagine an inferior animal lost. It will attach itself to anything. The random attachments not understanding its authentic self roots. The biology varies according to the attachment. A people pleaser goes the extra mile to the detriment of their own biological resources. Hoping that helping others, their needs will be met despite the type of relationships either good or harmful..
You could build on this idea of the types of relationships related to the biological self as a personal development program. My personal experience, I was in the flight mode for most of my life (not until after the death of my wife I knew what state I was in) so the connection to others at a deep core synthesis didn’t exist because of the flight mechanism. Reflecting on my interpersonal relationships they were non-existence, and it saddens me. Understanding the implications of life experiences gives the self-opportunity to resolute core values to new dimensions.
The relating function of experiences must be in equilibrium. For example, when a person is drunk, they delineate the perception at extremes. The body home management, called homeostasis, orchestrates a framework to optimise the complete structure under the control of the subconscious programs laid through experience. Carl Jung related to this in the shadow work with the anima and animus and complexes. The balancing structures of who the self is at a deeper level relate to relationships with male and female role models. For example, a man female counterpart is the anima. The former relationship of man’s mother is the foundation in the first 3 years of his life. Other female encounters will define the female subconscious structure as contrasting to the mother or reenforcing the anima. A man’s masculine counterpart will often suppress this side of the self-because of cultural and society’s expectations. Likewise, the animus of a woman, the male role model, usually the father, will be present in the subconscious. The responses of both genders will run in the background of a person’s psyche, influencing, and predicting subconscious programs.
Self only knows what it knows, so if you are struggling with connecting to yourself at a deeper level, use compassion as a guide. Reliability component may not be apparent as abuse in childhood, but it related to neglect of your needs. Parents’ demands can feel insurmountable for some causing stress in many areas of life. The financial implications may have forced parents to work long hours, neglecting the children not by choice but because of circumstances. The many promises of parents to do this or that will silently produce the schema of a child who feels isolated and unloved. Imagine a child’s life experience where the parents promise to take the child somewhere for their birthday. Child’s expectations are the focus of spending time with its nearest and dearest. The mother receives a phone call. Father can’t make it because of a meeting. The repeating of patterns in a child’s mind can define a core belief that work is more important than interpersonal relationship. The trust can disintegrate with the parent and child, leaving a model for a child to relate to in future relationships. I see this cycle repeated through the generations of work expectations monopolise the family.
Learning is based on the idea of predictability. The resources from the intrinsic mechanism of a human body are out of our total control. The brain learns what is the most efficient way of doing something unless we override it. At a cellular level, can you tell what cell needs to do? Everyday life in the relationship with others, the subconscious will predict for us from the instinctual route. Have you noticed a lot of relationships the partner resembles a parent, either psychological or even appearance? Chinese saying if a couple look alike, they are well matched.
Predictability of trust is a life history of relationships. The problem with learned predictability of the past is we can miss out on opportunities now. For example, if your partner cheated on you and you do not resolve it, it will be your future reference. Go on a dating site or app and read the bio. You see current undertones of mistrust looking for a new relationship. Predictability can be helpful with a present relationship; the repeated patterns tell the story. A new boss or new neighbour is a fresh opportunity to make a trusting relationship. Building on successful relationships can predict a better outcome from a place of love rather than from a place of fear.
The trust comes from within associated with the higher self. The injured child within, the neglected teenager and other parts need your trust. Being present accepting the signals from within, but opening your heart is the pathway to trust with self and others. No one can kill the inner child or threaten the teenager within because you, as an adult, can be there for them. The body, feelings and emotions love you and you need them, so work together with compassion as your bond.
Letting go of old wounds and mistrust will help you to be present, and the higher self will always give you what you need on your journey.
In conclusion, I can’t emphasize this enough. The trust from a higher source is the lifeline for anyone who has ongoing trust issues. That you are not important or not part of a bigger picture is a negative belief. Every human, regardless of who and what, they are here for a purpose. The billions in history that lived and those alive today make up the cosmos and if you were not here, the world would never be the same. The higher self loves the complete universe impartially because energy creates without judgment only humans put limits on others. Connect with your inner self and create an awesome trust with the greater consciousness in whatever way you want to have an unbreakable trust.